i know i've completely failed at updating this thing since it started, but i really have not had anything to say. this has been a minorly depressing winter break for me. i spent the first 1/2-3/4 (basically up until i visited amy a week ago) moping around about how much i missed new zealand, and how depressingly the same everything at home was. i didn't want to see my friends, i didn't want to go out and have fun, i just wanted to sit at home and miss new zealand, afraid that if i stopped missing it like crazy, i'd forget how truly spectacular it all was.
going to yuba city was a turning point for me. seeing amy was spectacular, and it was kind of like a wake-up call: that everything was real, and it's not going to disappear just because i've come home now. my friends do exist, and there's still hope of seeing them even if we're not all ten minutes away from one another anymore.
furthermore, getting away from portland gave me a chance to escape from the blanket of monotony that has been my life since getting home (wake up, go to work, come home, watch tv, go to sleep, repeat). i felt light and free and happy for the first time since coming back, and to my delight, the feeling has stuck with me, even upon returning home. i've gone back to hanging out with my friends and getting things done, and i'm finally starting to feel like myself again.
most exciting of all, school starts in a week! i don't have any idea why willamette is starting up SO LATE this year, but i cannot wait to get back onto campus and get into classes. i can't wait to move into my apartment and spend time with all my school friends, and stimulate my mind once again. i also cannot wait to get out of my mother's house: she doesn't like my stubborn refusal to give up the independence i've grown accustomed to having, and we've been at each others' throats for weeks now.
basically, life is improving, and salvation is on the horizon.
i guess i can survive without new zealand after all?